 |
 |
 |
 |
Notes from an inexperienced Seattle chili
taster named Frank who was visiting Texas:
Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding
Famous Celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili
cook-off because no one else wanted to do it. Also the
original person called in sick at the last minute and I
happened to be standing there at the judges' table asking
directions to the beer wagon when the call came in. I
was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that
the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they
told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I
accepted.
Here are the score cards from the event:
Chili #1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove
dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers
to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These
hicks are crazy.
Chili #2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smokey (barbeque?) with a hint of pork. Slight
Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting barbeque flavor, needs more peppers
to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure
what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off
two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver
while I shoved my way to the front of the beer line.
Chili #3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick! Needs
more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red
peppers.
FRANK: This has got to be a joke! Call the EPA, I've
located a !?#@%~#@*_#! uranium spill! My nose feels like
I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by
now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer
wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone
is in the front part of my chest.
...
The evolution of written profanity began roughly in the sixteenth century, and continues to change with each generation that it sees. Profanity is recognized in many Shakespearean works, and has continually evolved into the profane language used today. Some cuss words have somehow maintained their original meanings throughout hundreds of yea...
There are two things that make up a human: god and animals. Humans alone have morality, ability to know the principles of right and wrong behavior, and ethical judgment. Alexander Pope, Shakespeare, and Gilgamesh, these people and books, use concepts of human beings are: morality, divinity, and integrity. In today's world it is shown that hum...
Whats normal Whats a freak I ask a question, as the title of my paper, in hopes of relaying a point. No one for sure knows what the answers to these questions are. I?m sure I don?t, but I do have my own judgements as to what the answers may be. I have friends that say they are normal. But, what else would they know. I?ve been called e...
We do not have good reasons to believe in something transcendental. Most of the arguments in favor of God, or a so-called "higher power" are based on faith and emotion, and not a clear logical argument. In fact, these arguments are often in favor of throwing logic out the window. In many ways, this question is similar to someone attempting to prove...
The first item of discussion in Socrates' argument is the separation of the body and the soul. Socrates gains full agreement from Simmias and Cebes when he says that death is simply a separation of the body and the soul. He then makes the argument that this parting is what the philosopher should look forward to and work for. Socrates al...
