Recently, at yet another baby shower within my circle of friends, I
began to notice a subtle change in our relationships. After all of my
girlfriends arrived and were seated, I observed that we were divided into
two distinctive groups. One group clustered, rather uncomfortably, around
the couch. They discussed parties and current boyfriends, while cautiously
nibbling on carrot sticks. Other topics included who was dating who, and
who had changed since high school. This was clearly the singles group. On
the opposite side of the room the other group casually gathered. This was
the group that I had recently joined, the married group. We sat and laughed
while talking about such topics as our new husbands, houses, or even
children. The whole situation seemed bizarre, even when the party games
began the conversation seemed forced.

Afterwards, on my way home, I realized this problem was not
uncommon. There are vast differences between the lifestyles of single
people and that of married people that make it unmistakably difficult to
remain close friends. Single people live in a world of spontaneity, filled
with chaos. Everything is up in the air. They have no idea what day it is
much less if they have plans for the next weekend. Married people operate
on plans. They have such a full life a schedule is necessary to fit
everything in. A couple of weeks ago I ran into an old friend, an old yet
single friend. We talked for a while, reminiscing about high school and
past boyfriends, and decided we had to get together some time soon. She
and I tried to set a lunch date, or even a dinner date. After I offered
several possible days and times she concluded that she would have to get
back with me. She had no idea what plans she had already made.

Married people often think back to their single days as being days
...