I awoke to the smell of an old house, the lights were off and the
house was cold and damp. Doug was nudging me saying "Wake-up! I got us a
wake-up . . . get out of bed!" He was wide awake and holding a sixteenth
of cocaine in his hand. My stomach started churring as I got up and ran to
the restroom. He had woken me up many days like this but today Doug really
had the dope. He enjoyed waking me up and making me think he had some
cocaine, but most days he did not.
After I threw up, I washed my face leaving the water running, and
searched for the needles hidden under the cabinet. I gave Doug the spoon
and I tried to pull thirty units of water into the syringe. Doug hit me on
the side of my head and said "Your shaking too much, let me do that." I
pulled away from the faucet and let the syringe fall into the sink. Then I
rolled up the shirt sleeve on my right arm. I looked at my arm. I had
tracks, needle marks, up and down my arm. My shirt sleeve had blood stains
on it from the day before. I held out my arm and demanded "I get the first
one and I want coke not watered down coke!" Doug pulled my arm close to
him and inserted the needle in my arm. As I was shaking, he told me "Make
this last for a while girl." I felt the dope hit me and ran out of the
restroom. I was shaking and could not get my breath. I enjoyed this
feeling although I knew it was not going to last. I could hear every sound
outside and inside the house. My heart beat grew faster and I felt the
rush going away. I wanted another fix. Doug had just got finished doing
himself.
I grew scared and felt like Doug was going to do most of the
cocaine. I did not want to feel the down side of this high just yet
although I knew it was coming very soon. Five minutes later I fixed
myself another shot of cocaine and handed it to Doug. He was shaking and
could not focus on what I wanted him to do. I cried out to God asking for
...