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Gentlemen

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Gentlemen


Gentlemen



When you hear the word 'gentleman' what does it make you think of? Does it make you think of your father? How about your husband or boyfriend? Do you consider these males, in your life, to be gentlemen? You should. These are very influential people in your life, and they should be gentlemen. They should be firm yet gentle. These gentlemen should be teaching the youth of our time how to become gentlemen as well. There is a lack of gentlemen and that should not be the case. In fact, we as a society should have an abundance of gentlemen. A gentleman is a male who not only possesses manners, dresses nicely, and has the ability to treat everyone as an equal. He is also not embarrassed to show that he is a gentleman.



Manners are important to posses. They get people noticed. Manners are not hard to learn yet so many people lack them. Holding a door open for a person goes a long way. Usually when you do this people are grateful. Something like that should not have to be thought about. It should just happen. Holding a door open for anyone, not just females, should be an automatic thing; if it is not automatic then you are liable to forget to do it and then someone might think that you are shallow and not well mannered. You also have to realize that it's not only the person that you hold the door open for that notices what you have done. Others that are around will take notice of this act. An act such as holding open a door should be done out of the goodness of your heart. You should not be looking for something like a 'thank you' in return. That's not the reason for holding a door open. In a perfect world a person will say 'thank you' but it doesn't always work like that. Just remember that if someone holds the door open for you then you should thank him or her. It's only common courtesy, but it still amazes me how many people do not acknowledge such an act. It is extremely rude and reflects badly on you. Remember, a gentleman always says 'thank you'. It serves to reinforce to the other person that what they have done is a valued act. Also, it is important to reply with something like, 'You're welcome.' This is, again, to acknowledge the other person.

A gentleman always remembers to utilize 'please' and 'thank you'. They may seem like mere words, but they can be the difference between someone thinking that you are a well-mannered person, or someone thinking that you are just another ignorant derelict. It's amazing how everyone takes these words for granted, but if you forget to use them then you will be looked upon as ignorant. A gentleman is not ignorant. He remembers to utilize these words to the full extent. This means that he has to realize that he has to use these words every time they are applicable. According to Mary Held, she says that, 'Around the office the response (of what makes a male a gentleman) was -respectful of women, courtesy & kindness, manners, polite, good grooming, holds doors open, remembers important dates, well spoken.' Although these are the words of one person, this answer was compiled of a few people in the office that Mary Held works in.

When it comes to people of the opposite sex it still doesn't hurt to pull out a chair before they before they sit down, or offer them your coat, and things like that. I've known a few females that were against things like that. They felt like they didn't require preferential treatment, and so you have to learn to adjust. A gentleman is able to adjust to other people's likes and dislikes, but also knows who he is himself. On the whole though, it doesn't hurt to show some courtesy like that towards females. When you pull out a chair for a female it shows that you are looking out for them. You are not trying to 'score points' for later, because remember, like Coach Eddie Ushold says, 'You should treat a female like you would want your daughter, or sister treated. Anything less would be looked upon as ungentlemanly.' Coach Ushold is the new head baseball coach, and is trying to bring a new, more gentleman, look to the Olivet College baseball team.



Not only does a male have to posses manners but he also has to dress respectably. He should look neat when it comes to facial hair. It is fine to have facial hair as long as it is neatly kept. When you look at advertisements in things like Sears catalogues, or TV ads, you see neatly trimmed hair on all of the male models. There will also be a slogan like, 'Get this jacket for the gentleman in your life.' This suggests that if you are a gentleman, then you will dress in a nice way. Usually, dressing in a nice way means that the gentleman will be wearing something comfortable like khakis or jeans, with no holes in them. He will wear shoes that are very conservative but nothing too flashy but something that looks respectable. As for a shirt, he will wear something probably with a collar, or a sweatshirt. Once again, these things cannot have any holes. It's kind of like a businessman type of look that these advertisements want to try and sell to men, to make them think that is how gentlemen dress. You don't necessarily have to shop at that store but you do have to look a certain way. Most of the time you will see those 'model gentlemen' dress in the way that is described in the same way as described above.

The way you look is just as important as how you act. If you want to be considered a gentleman it is helpful to look like a gentleman. It is amazing how people react to others just by what they wear. If a person were to watch others as they walked through a mall, they would notice that people will follow others with their eyes and from that they will make certain instant judgements about that person. People do discriminate and judge you by the things you wear. This may not be correct but it does happen. Therefore, to save yourself some problems you should dress in a respectable manner. If you dress in a very extreme way then, more than likely, you are going to attract some unnecessary attention. Wearing pants that are six sizes too big, and wearing shirts with controversial slogans may not be what you are looking to portray to others.

If you dress in a respectable manner then it also help when it comes to how females perceive you. If you dress in a conservative way then you will be perceived as non-threatening. That is at least a first step in the right direction. It also goes towards that whole gentleman mentality; if you act pleasant you should also look pleasant.



The goal of a gentleman is to treat not just females, but everyone as equals. According to John Henry Cardinal Newman a gentleman's 'greatest concern' is, 'to make every one at their ease and at home. He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd;' (The Victoria Web, Newman on the Gentleman) We are living in an age where discrimination is becoming less and less prominent. A true test of a gentleman is to see if he treats everyone the same, and not just the female companion that he may happen to be with.

In the words of Jack Bradley, a father of a friend of mine, he states that a gentleman has, 'The ability to care for some one as you'd like to be cared for. To treat everyone as your equal and to go out of your way to assist someone without looking for restitution.' This comment comes from a regular person like you and I. Now, although this is only the thought of one person, imagine if we all acted this way? We would live in a society where everyone would carry a respect for everyone else. There would be gentlemen all over the place, just as it should be. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and a gentleman realizes this and strives to accomplish this.

According to Tracy Logan, an Olivet College student, she states, 'A gentlemen is a man who can retain his values and morals even under duress. In that way he is strong. He is equally kind to all people no matter their status or race or sex. He is equally kind even if he knows he will not receive the same treatment back. He understands that his actions must be judged ...

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