Halloween is looming and Blair, my four year old great-niece, has been talking about it for weeks. She told me, confidentially, quietly whispering in my ear, that this year she's going as Cinderella. I'm sure I frowned upon hearing the news. I was hoping for Xena, Warrior Princess or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But no, four year old Blair Allison, the product of three generations of awakening feminism, wants to go as Cinderella.
I shouldn't be surprised that Cinderella has captured another generation. It's impossible to get through the day without seeing her image. She's on party plates, p.j.'s, twin sheets, lunch boxes and tee shirts. One tends to forget that Cinderella emerged from a fairy tale. Disney has immortalized her and Madison Avenue has made a fortune off her image. She's everywhere.
Cinderella embodies all that America loves best. She's young, she's beautiful and she's on the verge of realizing the American dream. Rags to riches, triumphant, what could be better? However, ominously, Cinderella, has a darker side. How do I tell Blair about Cinderella's fatal flaws? For, despite, the picture perfect image, and despite the advancing years, Cinderella, is still as codependent as ever. In fact, the sin of Cinderella is her ongoing, untreated codependency.
Where has Cinderella been this past decade? Why has she been in denial while the rest of America worked on its' inner child, adult child and dysfunctional family issues? It's clear she's missed John Bradshaw's series, "The Family." Obviously, she hasn't boned up on codependency, let alone, women who love too much. If Cinderella had stayed current, she wouldn't be covered with ashes, still trying to please an impossible parent. In fact, she might not be marrying the Prince. It's crystal-clear, as clear as a glass slipper, that Cinderella is a candidate for recovery.
If Cinderella had watched the PBS series, "The Family," she would know she's living in a dysfunctional family. Cinderella's family tree is more than a bit fuzzy. Was her mother dead or merely missing? And, what about her dad? There are so many versions of Cinderella's life, it's impossible to ascertain the truth. Like many children today, Cinderella is living in a single-head of household, household and of course, she has the whole step sibling issue to contend with.
If Cinderella had identified her codependency, she might have challenged the abuse and shame going on in her home. Why was she emptying the chamber pots and sleeping ...